nykeyoung: Drop your cock and grab your pant! (maritan)
[personal profile] nykeyoung
I tried to get help from my Facebook friends list with my dating problems. I asked for wingmen and introductions.

I received nothing of the sort.

  • Two suggestions of match.com, because when I start to believe the women profiles on online dating sites are not those of actual living beings, let alone human women, the problem is I'm not paying for the privilege of the Turing Test.

  • Two "She's not going to reply to your message because you believe she's not going to reply to your message." It's not that the reply rate to online dating messages is horrendous. It's that I'm not blindly optimistic all the fucking time.

  • One "What do you want wingmen for? They'll take the better woman. Go back to online dating." (I paraphrased it, but this argument did come up)

  • One "You should join groups to meet women. Not that one. Not that one, either. Are you even trying?" It's not like I'm extending myself far enough. I have to go farther and farther and even farther.

  • Two "You have to find women on your own," because it's not like meeting women is a social activity or anything.

It's like I made friends just to have them be friends in the designated friend areas. If I made a friend at IAF, I made an IAF friend, not a friend I met at IAF. If I ask any of my friends to be a friend outside of their friend area, I'm asking for too much. Asking them to help me meet other people, and I might as well be asking for their bank account and social security number.

Date: 2012-11-24 03:14 am (UTC)
bigangry: (Default)
From: [personal profile] bigangry
I have a question for you, and I don't want you to think that I'm being derisive or trying to rile you up. It's an honest question that you don't have to answer out loud if you don't want to, just think on it...

I was in your situation back in... probably 2000-2008-ish. I hadn't had a girlfriend since the first semester of my senior year in high school, back in 1997, and never before that. I desperately wanted to find a girlfriend because I thought it was going to solve all my problems, and validate my manhood (and, y'know, get some stanky on my hang-down for the first time, to use one of my favorite hilariously inappropriate phrases). I was so focused on getting myself down because I was still a virgin and the clock was ticking, friends were making fun of me for it... So bad that a female friend gave me a pity fuck just to get me over it and to shut up our mutual friends. The pity fuck was humiliating and emasculating and neither of us got much out of it, and the condom was entirely too tight and that ended things before much of anything actually happened.

It was after that, even though I was humiliated, that I was able to see that it wasn't what I needed to feel validated as a human being and a man. Someone else won't magically make all my problems go away. Someone else won't magically make me a man and take off all of society's artificial pressure on losing my virginity.

My question, after all that, is... What reasons do you have for needing to find a woman?


nykeyoung: The new Captain Marvel, formerly Ms. Marvel. (Default)

It's dangerous to go alone. Take this.

Vampire/Amazon I Editing (Pass 1/3)
1 / 35 chapters

Stand/Fall (V/A book 2)
1,918 / 80,000

Argue With Me
1,120 / 80,000

Humanity: A X-Day Crash Course
74 / 80,000

The World Doesn't Revolve Around You
0 / 80,000

Dios Vu
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Betrayer/Destroyer (V/A book 3)
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