nykeyoung: The new Captain Marvel, formerly Ms. Marvel. (Default)
I've heard various grad schools for math have an acceptance ratio of less than 10%, the only school that can fulfill a VEE requirement for actuarial work won't let me take one of the classes I need, and considers the prerequisites to that class I haven't fulfilled are some sort of trade secret to protect, I have to practically rework Vampire/Amazon if I'm going to sell the story, online dating is a bunch of flakes, any attempt to get friends together to meet women in person leads me to believe my friends are a bunch of flakes as well, the D&D campaign I run is looking like it's going to break up two actual sessions in, most jobs I can find either have requirements way over my head, or are built for "people" persons which I, with Social Anxiety Disorder, am the exact opposite of (and don't give me "exposure therapy" crap; otherwise that census job would've cured me and not forced me to quit it two weeks in), and on top of all that, I have a cough that won't let up.

Forget day, it hasn't been my year.


You know what, fuck it, I'm adding this one: the local arcade with a DDR machine has two of the steps broken. One of them has been broken since the last time I showed up over a month ago.
nykeyoung: The new Captain Marvel, formerly Ms. Marvel. (Default)
When I came back to Des Moines, I wanted to make friends.

Now, I wish that I was a little more specific. Sure, I know a lot more people than I do now, but a whole lot of the people I know from somewhere, I don't meet outside of said somewhere.

There's a lot of them that are cold for fair-weather friends. If I want a favor, if it's a mutually-beneficial favor, I'm fighting them every step of the way. If I'm not, I'm on my own.

I want to go out and meet women. I've tried going out before, and I have no idea what I'm doing wrong. I ask for someone to go with me, and can't find anyone to go with me. Not a one.

It'd be one thing if I didn't have the luck just at meeting women. I have no clue what I'm doing, and I can't find one person to give me a hand.

*I'm actually going back into therapy. I may back off depending on how financial aid is going to go, but I need to be back.
nykeyoung: The new Captain Marvel, formerly Ms. Marvel. (Default)
I found the place.

I can say it's quieter, but I still can't be heard over the music.

And the place is crowded. The crowd is also a little old for me.

Read more... )
nykeyoung: Electra Olivo from Cowboy Bebop: The Movie (electra)
As I watch another attempt at a relationship slide down the tubes, I'm really thinking I need a break.

If I catch her on Y!M, I'll try to get her attention. I'm not going to obsessively get a hold of her, or go after anyone else.

I've had the "like her" light on for too damn long. It's sort of drained me. Here I am, almost 25, a quarter of a century on earth. I shouldn't be thinking another wasted year at this point.

Come to think of it, I am a little bit obsessive. If you put a game or a puzzle or a test in front of me, I want to get it done, get it over with. Even if I've got plenty of time to work, I just want the pleasure of finishing it thoroughly. It takes me a while to realize the game is going to be just as screwed up as I left it and I can go for a break. It's not going to get any worse.

Besides, I can start fresh in January.

So, Operation: Don't Give A Fuck is on.
nykeyoung: Electra Olivo from Cowboy Bebop: The Movie (cowboy bebop)
Yeah, I've kept a few posts to my F-list. For Facebook and the rest: this woman is not the same one from the posts a couple of weeks back. That didn't work out.

And I'm thinking of calling it an A-list, because Dreamwidth calls it an Access List and A-list just sounds cooler.

Got into an IM conversation with her.

The good news is I did initiate the conversation. I had a few topics I was wondering about. I pointed her in the direction of IAF (so if someone's asking for me, yeah).

The bad news is that confidence. I'll probably need a lot more of it. Otherwise, the relationship's going to die in a carpet-bomb of quiet.

Wouldn't be me if I wasn't pessimistic.
nykeyoung: Pope John Paul II, rocking out! (catholics)
Every time I do, the progress ends up in IM hell. She's either not on anytime I'm on, or leaving the "Busy/Not Here" signal on.


nykeyoung: The new Captain Marvel, formerly Ms. Marvel. (Default)

It's dangerous to go alone. Take this.

Vampire/Amazon I Editing (Pass 1/3)
1 / 35 chapters

Stand/Fall (V/A book 2)
1,918 / 80,000

Argue With Me
1,120 / 80,000

Humanity: A X-Day Crash Course
74 / 80,000

The World Doesn't Revolve Around You
0 / 80,000

Dios Vu
0 / 80,000

Betrayer/Destroyer (V/A book 3)
163 / 80,000

Reckless/Thoughtless (V/A book 4)
0 / 80,000

November 2012

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