nykeyoung: The new Captain Marvel, formerly Ms. Marvel. (Default)
I've heard various grad schools for math have an acceptance ratio of less than 10%, the only school that can fulfill a VEE requirement for actuarial work won't let me take one of the classes I need, and considers the prerequisites to that class I haven't fulfilled are some sort of trade secret to protect, I have to practically rework Vampire/Amazon if I'm going to sell the story, online dating is a bunch of flakes, any attempt to get friends together to meet women in person leads me to believe my friends are a bunch of flakes as well, the D&D campaign I run is looking like it's going to break up two actual sessions in, most jobs I can find either have requirements way over my head, or are built for "people" persons which I, with Social Anxiety Disorder, am the exact opposite of (and don't give me "exposure therapy" crap; otherwise that census job would've cured me and not forced me to quit it two weeks in), and on top of all that, I have a cough that won't let up.

Forget day, it hasn't been my year.

...

You know what, fuck it, I'm adding this one: the local arcade with a DDR machine has two of the steps broken. One of them has been broken since the last time I showed up over a month ago.
nykeyoung: The new Captain Marvel, formerly Ms. Marvel. (Default)
University of Minnesota has rejected my Grad School application.
nykeyoung: The new Captain Marvel, formerly Ms. Marvel. (Default)
When I came back to Des Moines, I wanted to make friends.

Now, I wish that I was a little more specific. Sure, I know a lot more people than I do now, but a whole lot of the people I know from somewhere, I don't meet outside of said somewhere.

There's a lot of them that are cold for fair-weather friends. If I want a favor, if it's a mutually-beneficial favor, I'm fighting them every step of the way. If I'm not, I'm on my own.

I want to go out and meet women. I've tried going out before, and I have no idea what I'm doing wrong. I ask for someone to go with me, and can't find anyone to go with me. Not a one.

It'd be one thing if I didn't have the luck just at meeting women. I have no clue what I'm doing, and I can't find one person to give me a hand.

*I'm actually going back into therapy. I may back off depending on how financial aid is going to go, but I need to be back.
nykeyoung: Taken from a group project posted for advice by <lj site="livejournal.com" user="r_magnusson"> (dark humor)
1) IowaCares does not cover mental health or pharmaceuticals. You think if Iowa cared, it actually would, but...
2) Psychiatrists will try to help you, despite a bill-induced panic attack.
3) I have to use one of my CD's to pay off student loans to drop my at-hand money for financial aid, or I'll have "too many resources."
nykeyoung: The new Captain Marvel, formerly Ms. Marvel. (Default)
All right, why is it whenever I get good news and bad news, the good news pales in comparison to the bad news.

Like right now, good news:

  • Red November is back in stock in a larger size. Not the small "sneeze wrong and everything can fly" Silver Line size.

  • Rifftrax Live next Wednesday.

  • I'm going to be able to play in this season of D&D Encounters...


Bad news

  • ... because Drake did not accept me for one of the classes I needed. I sent an e-mail asking why, so I'm waiting for that, but I wanted to get the VEE requirements in one year, or in the least, defer my loans. I'm trying to not go into despair, because I don't have an answer, but

  • It's been one week since I had an interview with RadioShack. Waiting for a reply and hope for the second interview. Starting to look like Boulder of Sisyphus.

  • My attempts to recruit people for Zeitgeist D&D 4e is going slower than molasses in January. I had two people at the beginning, and I haven't gotten anybody for a month. I think I'm more likely to lose one of the two instead of gaining one, let alone getting the 4-PC table I want. I hate the Gaming Date Paradox*.

Yep, the good things are "Oh, cool" temporary things. The bad things are depression-inducing catch-22's.

* If you want to set up a game and don't have a date, people will not show interest until you commit to a date. If you want to set up a game and have a date, people will not be able to make it to the date. If you know how to get around this, please tell me.

Fate,

Jun. 21st, 2011 11:31 am
nykeyoung: The new Captain Marvel, formerly Ms. Marvel. (Default)
I don't like how my life is going right now. I'm trying to get in a university as a non-degree student, after 8 years of college (but if everything actually goes well, I don't have to rely on getting into graduate school, as I'd have the experience to take the actuarial exams). I need to get applications to several graduate schools. I feel that I can't write a fight scene to save my life, and the job hunt, well, you know how in this economy, looking for a job is a full-time job in itself. All I'm finding out is how I'm not cut out for a full-time job.

I'm also trying to get a social circle together. That's been like pulling teeth.

Right now, I have this sudden urge to do nothing, to curl up in the fetal position and cry.

I'm about to hit rock bottom, and the least you could do is stop throwing me shovels. Okay?


That is all,
Nyke Young

Call it.

Jan. 25th, 2010 11:32 pm
nykeyoung: Iowa (iowa)
I have not received a response from any of the four people I have e-mailed about for Letters of Recommendation.

Anyone I ask at this point would need a lot of free time to make the Feb. 1st deadline. I do not know anyone that would have that much free time, yet know me well enough to be a good letter of recommendation.

I've e-mailed 6 people. I've gotten 2 replies and 1 letter of recommendation. Even though I need them, I don't have that drive. My brain's already saying I lost this one. By this ratio, I'd have to e-mail 18 people to get my 3, and 12 of them will not reply with anything.

The glass is half-empty. To me, the day has won.

I still have some options. I can get the letters to ISU after the deadline, but I'm at their mercy. They might accept me, but no financial aid. I just can't do that.

The other option I have is try for Spring 2011.

I've also got Plan B, C, and D. C looks like the best thing.

Why did ISU even have that "give us their e-mail address and we'll ask them" thing available? If I didn't have that, I would've asked directly from the beginning, instead of thinking "I'm good" until one month before the due date.

Forget it. Someone cheer me up.

Profile

nykeyoung: The new Captain Marvel, formerly Ms. Marvel. (Default)
nykeyoung

It's dangerous to go alone. Take this.

Vampire/Amazon I Editing (Pass 1/3)
1 / 35 chapters

Stand/Fall (V/A book 2)
1,918 / 80,000

Argue With Me
1,120 / 80,000

Humanity: A X-Day Crash Course
74 / 80,000

The World Doesn't Revolve Around You
0 / 80,000

Dios Vu
0 / 80,000

Betrayer/Destroyer (V/A book 3)
163 / 80,000

Reckless/Thoughtless (V/A book 4)
0 / 80,000

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