nykeyoung: The new Captain Marvel, formerly Ms. Marvel. (Default)
I've heard various grad schools for math have an acceptance ratio of less than 10%, the only school that can fulfill a VEE requirement for actuarial work won't let me take one of the classes I need, and considers the prerequisites to that class I haven't fulfilled are some sort of trade secret to protect, I have to practically rework Vampire/Amazon if I'm going to sell the story, online dating is a bunch of flakes, any attempt to get friends together to meet women in person leads me to believe my friends are a bunch of flakes as well, the D&D campaign I run is looking like it's going to break up two actual sessions in, most jobs I can find either have requirements way over my head, or are built for "people" persons which I, with Social Anxiety Disorder, am the exact opposite of (and don't give me "exposure therapy" crap; otherwise that census job would've cured me and not forced me to quit it two weeks in), and on top of all that, I have a cough that won't let up.

Forget day, it hasn't been my year.


You know what, fuck it, I'm adding this one: the local arcade with a DDR machine has two of the steps broken. One of them has been broken since the last time I showed up over a month ago.
nykeyoung: The new Captain Marvel, formerly Ms. Marvel. (Default)
When I came back to Des Moines, I wanted to make friends.

Now, I wish that I was a little more specific. Sure, I know a lot more people than I do now, but a whole lot of the people I know from somewhere, I don't meet outside of said somewhere.

There's a lot of them that are cold for fair-weather friends. If I want a favor, if it's a mutually-beneficial favor, I'm fighting them every step of the way. If I'm not, I'm on my own.

I want to go out and meet women. I've tried going out before, and I have no idea what I'm doing wrong. I ask for someone to go with me, and can't find anyone to go with me. Not a one.

It'd be one thing if I didn't have the luck just at meeting women. I have no clue what I'm doing, and I can't find one person to give me a hand.

*I'm actually going back into therapy. I may back off depending on how financial aid is going to go, but I need to be back.
nykeyoung: The new Captain Marvel, formerly Ms. Marvel. (Default)
One of my major rules: If you like someone or you want to get to know someone, it is your responsibility to start the ball rolling. It's your responsibility to start the conversation. It's your responsibility to get the other person's number (or give out your own). At those first steps, it's on you. You may luck out and find someone who's just as interested in you as you are in them, but that shouldn't be your dating strategy.

I had a message exchange with a woman on OKCupid. I wasn't interested at first, but she started the exchange, so I wanted to see if she could convince me differently. She sent messages that would be terse for "winks". It was almost like she was waiting to get me to start the conversation for her.

She said she wanted to get to know me. I asked her what she wanted to know, and she bowed out.


Jun. 21st, 2011 11:31 am
nykeyoung: The new Captain Marvel, formerly Ms. Marvel. (Default)
I don't like how my life is going right now. I'm trying to get in a university as a non-degree student, after 8 years of college (but if everything actually goes well, I don't have to rely on getting into graduate school, as I'd have the experience to take the actuarial exams). I need to get applications to several graduate schools. I feel that I can't write a fight scene to save my life, and the job hunt, well, you know how in this economy, looking for a job is a full-time job in itself. All I'm finding out is how I'm not cut out for a full-time job.

I'm also trying to get a social circle together. That's been like pulling teeth.

Right now, I have this sudden urge to do nothing, to curl up in the fetal position and cry.

I'm about to hit rock bottom, and the least you could do is stop throwing me shovels. Okay?

That is all,
Nyke Young
nykeyoung: The new Captain Marvel, formerly Ms. Marvel. (Default)
Okay, I panicked and ran away of the singles' event. Straight-on is not going to work.

Yeah, I go to IAF and D&D Encounters, but the first time I went to their events, I ended up in the right place. With the singles' group, I dealt with Legend's "I KNOW NUZZING" policy, and now it's setting my self-doubt into overdrive.

Sort of like the one time I went to Adventureland. They had "Required Group" signs up for some rides. From what I understood from the sign, if someone wanted to go in alone, they would pair them up with someone. I would've shrugged if I was just odd man out.

Then there was the second ride. They didn't even try to pair me up. I couldn't get myself to ride any other rides, because that jackass move was in the back of my mind.

I did write them a nasty letter. I haven't gotten a reply, so I refuse to pay to go there to this day.

Back to the singles' group, I do have the organizing group's* number. Next time I'm going to call first, and ask for assistance.

(* Did you know how hard it was to not put down "Organizing Organization" here?)
nykeyoung: The new Captain Marvel, formerly Ms. Marvel. (Default)
I came in the restaurant. I got a little nervous, so I told the hostess the name of the group. I had to say it again.

She said there was a group, but she didn't know if it was the one. You'd think they'd actually write something down, but you'd be wrong.

She directed me to the group. I stood for part of a minute, trying to find someone to talk to to see if this was the event. After a while, I got too nervous and left.

I would have fought my nervousness and stayed if I had any sign that I was in the right place. The fact that none of them could is a bad mark on both the organizers and the restaurant.

So, I'm going to write some nasty-but-not-too-nasty letters to people. My faith in humanity took another shot.


nykeyoung: The new Captain Marvel, formerly Ms. Marvel. (Default)

It's dangerous to go alone. Take this.

Vampire/Amazon I Editing (Pass 1/3)
1 / 35 chapters

Stand/Fall (V/A book 2)
1,918 / 80,000

Argue With Me
1,120 / 80,000

Humanity: A X-Day Crash Course
74 / 80,000

The World Doesn't Revolve Around You
0 / 80,000

Dios Vu
0 / 80,000

Betrayer/Destroyer (V/A book 3)
163 / 80,000

Reckless/Thoughtless (V/A book 4)
0 / 80,000

November 2012

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